


Flying Bombs Full of Ink

by CursedTartarContent



Category: Splatoon
Genre: But with A LOT of angst later on, Fluff, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-07-24 20:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20020627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedTartarContent/pseuds/CursedTartarContent
Summary: Callie takes Tartar in. Shenanigans ensue.(Reuploaded as of 7/28/19!)





	1. Lost In The Sauce

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I deleted this work, I got a bit insecure with my writing skills! Hopefully I’ll keep it up this time

Agent 4 ran across the hot, sandy beach, their short yellow tentacles fluttering in the wind. They had been anticipating today for several days now, their body itching for excitement as they raced towards the canoe on the shore.

“Adventure! _Adventure!_ ” they chanted as they were oblivious to the mild suffering of the Inkling behind them, which was none other than Marie Cuttlefish.

Marie’s usually flawless eyeliner was leaking a bit as she tried to keep up with the agent in front of her, her cuttleknees visibly shaking and starting to give.

“Four, wait for me…! C’mon, you know I have chronic arthritis…”

They finally acknowledge that Marie was far behind them, but they didn’t really seem to care all that much. “Bullsquit! You should know that Inklings don’t have bones by now.”

Marie sputtered in response, thinking for a few moments before finally responding. “Well…I mean, I know _that,_ it’s just like…the liquid version of human joint pain, I guess. I might need to think for a bit on that one, I wasn’t a biology student in school.”

Callie, meanwhile, had just picked up on the conversation. She was too busy carrying not only a huge pink-and-green umbrella, but also a New Squidbeak Splatoon-licensed cooler to notice it prior. She hesitated, taking a few moments herself before putting her two cents in.

“Well, isn’t that when your ink gets hard?”

Marie just squinted. “Never say anything like that to me ever again.”

“So…anyways! Gramps told me that there were some interesting things out here…I see something a bit off of shore, but it looks like a hunk of junk if you ask me.”

Callie, however, looked at the object in awe. “I think it’s really cool...it almost looks like a relic from the past!”

Four scoffed. “Pfft, who cares what it looks like? I’m just here for the adventure...it’s a new thing to discover!”

They paused for a second, before continuing, jumping into the canoe as they did so. “I wanna get over there so I can climb to the top!”

Marie sighed, “Never a boring day without you, Four. Time to get this thing over with!”

She opened her green paper parasol, tentatively stepping across the sand before gently stepping into the boat, as not to tip it over. Callie followed shortly afterwards, and she made the canoe rock a bit when she joined, much to Marie’s displeasure.

“There’s three of us on this thing, so we need to be careful…” She said, lifting her umbrella up a bit so that Callie could sit comfortably. “I don’t need it tipping over even more.”

“Got it!” Callie enthusiastically replied as she pulled out a wooden oar, plunging it into the water and pulling it back, making the boat move just a bit forward. The trio were now on their way towards the ruins in the distance.

As they glided over the ocean surface, Four curiously peeked over the canoe, watching their reflection in the vivid turquoise water distort as they moved along. Whenever the boat got still, they could see their reflection a bit more clearly, their brown eyes and tanned skin shimmering in the summer sun. They paused for a second before extending their hand, and they let their fingers touch the calm water. Upon touching it, Four’s fingers stung a little, the sensation being painful enough that they didn’t notice the boat starting to tip over.

Marie, unsurprisingly, jumped back in shock upon hearing the sound of the boat creaking. “Four! Be careful there!”

“Oh, I'll be fine,” Four replied as they dunked their hand in the water, curiously gazing at the surface as it gradually turned yellow from their ink.

“Really? We're all gonna fall in the water if you keep this up! Then we'll have to start back from square one…”

They pouted, sighing a little. “Oh, alright, I getcha.”

Callie perked up as she noticed Four’s ink in the water. “Maybe I should try that too…”

But before Callie could really even consider it, Marie had her face buried in her free hand, groaning as if ten years were taken away from her lifespan.

 _Hmm. Probably not the best idea_.

After a bit more rowing and a bit more tomfoolery, the three finally arrived at the mysterious ruins; despite the fact that it had started eroding slightly, its shape, distinctly human-like, was largely kept intact. They were fascinated at the statue in front of them, and even Marie seemed intrigued at it.

Callie gasped, putting her hands to her face. “It’s... _human…_ ”

Marie chuckled, “You were always quite the history buff, weren’t you, Callie?”

“It...It’s real! And it’s absolutely awe-inspiring up close…”

Four, meanwhile, had already taken notice of Callie’s excitement. “What are we waiting for? Let’s get on this thing already!”

“Alright, alright, just give me a sec—“ Marie was swiftly interrupted as she tried to look for them. “Wha—?! Where _are_ you?”

“Up here, silly!” Four was already making their way up the statue, hoisting themselves on a nearby platform before inking the wall with their Splattershot.

Callie, enthusiastic as always, beamed when she saw them climbing up. “I’m coming up with you!” She shouted, before preparing herself for a super jump. Once she was sufficiently ready, she flew up in the air, a trail of pink ink following her as she leaped up to the statue’s bust.

Upon landing, she got her own Splattershot out, shooting at the wall and swiftly swimming upwards.

Marie gagged a little as she took this all in. “Urp! Just looking at all of that is making me sick...I'd go up there but I don't wanna puke all over Four. They wouldn't take that well anyways…”

Meanwhile, Four and Callie were walking around the statue, and Callie was pointing out every little thing that caught her eye.

“Ooh, that blue marking is so cool! It says...10008? Wonder what that means.”

“Ah, a warning label? Maybe this thing is a biohazard! Or it could also mean that we're in a ‘no trespassing’ area.”

“Oh my cod, that thing over there is really shiny!” Callie exclaimed, before squinting. “Wait...what _is_ that thing? Maybe we should have a look-see…”

Four smirked. “Wanna race and see who gets there first?”

“Shell yeah!”

The two loaded their weapons with ink, spraying the ground and swimming through the colorful puddles as squids. They looked at each other intently, studying each other’s fierce gaze...and they almost forgot what they were racing towards, and thus, they nearly ended up inking over the shiny object in question. Callie was especially oblivious, bonking headfirst into it and unknowingly getting a mysterious green ooze on her hat. When she got back into kid form, she curiously put her finger on it, getting a bit of the goo on herself as she did so.

”Meh, it'll wash!” She remarked as Four cringed at the sight of her touching the goop.

“Callie, that looks so gross...why would you touch that?”

“Oh, c’mon, it just looks like regular ol’ ink. Maybe there's another squidkid around here!”

“Maybe…” Four responded as they started to get the gloves out. “It still looks kind of…suspicironi though.”

Just as they said that, the object beneath the ooze made a strange noise.

“Glblblbl...B-BZZZZZZRT!”

“...I don’t think I have it in me to touch that,” they mumbled, handing a pair of gloves to Callie.

She took the hint, promptly putting the white gloves on and squatting down, carefully wiping some of the goo off. Underneath it, there seemed to be...an antique telephone…? Its bells and speakers were not tightly attached, and its handle seemed to be slightly damaged, but other than that, the machine seemed to be in an oddly good condition.

Callie’s eyes gleamed as she gently picked up the telephone. “Wow...is this a human artifact too? I really want to take it with me and see if I could clean it up…”

“I don’t think anyone will be against you on that,” Four answered. “Though, can you keep that thing far away from me? That goop still looks disgusting.”

“Alrighty! Just let me know when you change your mind on that! I might need some help carrying this thing.”

“Callie, I swear to cod—“ They were interrupted as she went into a fit of laughter that went on until the two arrived back at the boat. When Marie saw the machine in Callie’s hands, she was confused, yet not surprised in the slightest.

_There she goes again...it’s sometimes unexpected when Callie does something like this, but...it’s also somehow pleasant? As if my life would be empty without her…_

***

“A little here, a little there...and boom! It’s done, just like that!” Sheldon exclaimed as he took a step back to observe his work. Despite the fact that he mostly worked on weapons, he managed to get the phone back in a more functional state.

“Wow, Sheldon!” Callie remarked. “How did you get that done so fast? It looked like it was broken when I found it.”

“Well, its exterior was a bit beaten up, but all its insides seemed to be good as new. However…! You might want someone to supervise it until we can figure out if this thing still works or not.”

“Who could we ask…?”

“Not me! I’m a busy crab, with my weapons and all. I don’t know if he’d even fit in my store.”

”Then…” Callie put her hand to her face, assuming a thinking position. “...Who should keep it?”

Marie quickly chimed in. “Well, I wouldn’t trust Four with a corn chip, let alone a complicated machine...and I don’t think I’d be the best at taking care of it either. Y’know, you were always the better babysitter, Callie. I think you’d do a good job taking care of it.”

“You got a point there,” Callie responded, her hands reaching out for the telephone. “I think I can take it to my place and see how it does.”

She cautiously takes it, holding it with both of her arms as she makes her way out of Octo Canyon.


	2. Restart

Well after the sun had set, Callie had finally returned to her penthouse door with the phone still in her hands. When she dragged herself in, she was greeted by nothing and nobody--her and Marie had lived in separate apartments for a while now, and it wasn’t like she had any roommates either.

She let out a heavy, exhausted sigh as she dropped it beside her glass coffee table. She had been carrying it for at least an hour, and the weight of it was finally getting to her shoulders.

“Whew...you're a big boy, aren't you?”

Nothing was said in response...which was largely fine by Callie, as she didn't really invite anyone up here anyways. She flopped into her seat, staring up at the ceiling as she wondered what to do with this machine.

She continued to lie on her maroon velvet couch, a faint magenta light illuminating both her and the telephone…She took her hand and gently stroked the top of Tartar’s casing, since there really wasn't anything better to do around here. 

Ever since she and Marie got back together, they haven't produced any chart-topping singles; Off the Hook had grown more popular than them, she supposed. Come to think of it, they haven't produced much to begin with...it was almost like the formerly legendary Squid Sisters were now dormant, biding their time until this hiatus slowly tided over and out.

“Man, it's been quiet up here, hasn't it…?” She quietly mused. 

She then turned her gaze to the telephone on the pink carpet floor. “But at least I have you…well, I guess it's better than nothing. Speaking of...”

She sat up, bending down and slowly picking it up. Her body was already strained from carrying it, so she handled the machine with care as she hoisted it up on her lap.

“Alright, now the hard part is over with!” She pants. “Now, where’s the thingy to turn this on…”

She gently traced the machine’s chassis, carefully examining all of its parts before finding a small black power button on its underside. She pressed the button with just enough force to turn it on, and the phone began heating up as its systems started to run.

“(STARTING UP TARTAR.EXE…)”

The telephone started to quietly hum as it continued to boot up, its inner programs gradually updating one by one. Callie hummed the opening melody of Bomb Rush Blush, her greatest hit single, as she waited, restlessly tapping the machine with her fingers.

After a little bit of waiting and a little bit of humming, a loud beeping sound came from the phone. 

“Z-ZZRT! BZZRT! AWUEH, AWUEH, DEN DEN DEN DEN AWUEH!”

The machine was silent for a few seconds before it started...speaking? And in Inkling, no less.

"W-Where am I?!" It exclaimed in its chirpy robotic voice. "And...why am I here with you of all people?!"

A worried expression emerged on Callie’s face as she attempted to comfort the confused and distressed telephone. “Um...my name is Callie, and you’re in my apartment! You’re here because I found you and I wanted to clean you up…”

“Why are you holding me like that!? L-Let go of me,” it continued, shaking as if it was trying to move. “Why are my legs not working…?”

“There, there, there’s no need to run…” Callie feebly wrapped her arms around the telephone to help calm him down, even if it was only a little bit.

“I-I do not trust any of these sea creatures...especially not you! I’ve seen you! I know what hedonistic things you all are capable of!”

“Y-You can trust me! I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.”

“Your kind has already done more than enough to hurt me,” It quietly retorted, somehow shaking even more than before.

“What have I done? I don’t understand…”

The telephone paused for a moment, before weakly responding. “I thought you were not going to follow the same path that humanity did...but then that war happened, and...I put so much faith into you that I honestly felt betrayed…”

Callie felt a pang in her heart as she heard the machine’s reply. “Well...I don’t know too much about humanity, but I’ve spent time with the Octarians, and...I can see how we treated them wrong. It was pretty foolish on our part to force them all underground like that.”

“...I applaud you for your efforts, but I am not sure you will stay committed to them...I have seen humans who say they are on one side permanently change their views.”

“I get you there, but just know that I have the best intentions, alright? I don’t want to hurt you even more!”

“I suppose I will take your word for now,” the machine sighed. “It is not like I can even do much anyways...I do not have access to my equipment, nor can I move on my own.”

Callie replied, “Oh, that’s no problem at all! I can just carry you for now.”

“I suppose that will have to do...oh, where are my manners? My name is Tartar...and you are Callie of the Squid Sisters, if I recall correctly.”

“Yep, that’s my name...though you can ditch that last part. Anyways, it’s nice to meet you, Tartar!”

Once all the formalities were done and over with, Callie gently picked up Tartar, moving him across her apartment to her room, finally letting go of him at her office-style desk. She gasped for air once she let him go—he was heavy, and she was already worn out from carrying him earlier. Once she dropped the phone, she turned her desk lamp on, a pink light immediately illuminating Tartar’s chassis.

Tartar began to observe his surroundings. It seemed like he was in a bedroom, as he could make out a large pink bed near him. The bed was apparently both for her and her numerous stuffed animals, which were all piled up on top of her velvety comforter. Just across from it was a maroon dresser with some figurines on it and a television just above. Aside from two velvet chairs and a small table next to some magenta curtains, the only other thing of note was a door that presumably led to her bathroom.

Once he was done, he finally remarked, “You must really be a fan of pink, hmm? I have seen it everywhere in your home.”

“I can’t live without it,” Callie laughed. “It’s my signature color, after all!”

She waved before opening the door to her bathroom. “I’m gonna get something for you real quick!”

She skipped over to her closet and started to rummage through it. She pushed some clothes and shoes over before finding what she was looking for—three buckets of silver, gold, and pink glitter, respectively. Callie grabbed them, setting them just outside the door before digging through her closet some more. After a couple of minutes of searching, she found a container of glue with a paintbrush laying on top of it. 

“There!” She exclaimed as she picked up all of her supplies. “This should make Tart look all nice and snazzy!”

Tartar tensed up slightly as he heard those words, and his suspicions were confirmed when Callie walked out with the supplies in hand. He gulped, at least as well as a machine could...somehow, Tartar knew just what she was going to do with all that glitter. 

Once she put all of her supplies on the desk, she promptly picked up the brush, opening the container of glue and dunking it in there. When the bristles were sufficiently coated, she took it out, putting some of the glue on Tartar’s bells.

“You’re gonna look amazing when I’m done,” Callie eagerly stated.

Tartar began to visibly shake. “I am not so sure about that.”

“Let the glitter come into your life, Tartar. Glitter makes everything better!” She beamed as she put her hand into the gold glitter, taking some of it and sprinkling it on top of the glue-covered areas.

"T-This isn't what the Professor would have wanted!" Tartar shouted as the glitter was applied onto him.

“Who's this Professor dude? The person that designed you?"

"Yes..."

“Well, he did a pretty good job, but your outsides look a lil' drab. Not to worry—I’m improving it right here, right now!"

Tartar pouted. “I like to think that I look good as-is.”

Callie’s grin disappeared for a moment before resurfacing again. “Don’t worry, I’m not dissing how you look. Glitter will just make you look even cuter!”

“...I suppose that glitter does, in fact, increase cuteness. It is not the look I am going for right now, but I will accept it.”

“What look  _ are  _ you going for, then?”

“Something serious. Dark. Devilish. And maybe even a bit...handsome.”

Callie giggled. “Yeah, I think you should go for the cutesy angle.”

The laughing and the glitter-applying continued until well into the night, and when Callie was finally finished, she stood up, letting out a yawn as she observed her work. Tartar was now covered in sparkly silver and gold, and two pink hearts were on his ‘cheeks’, making him look as if he was blushing.

“You look adorable!” She gushed as she patted him on his head. 

Tartar responded, “I am scared to see what I look like, honestly.”

“There’s no need to be so glum about it,” she stated, picking up Tartar one last time and putting him on her bed. “You’ll see what you look like in the morning! For now though, we need to get our zzzs...it was like, 1 a.m the last time I checked.”

Callie yawned once again, not even bothering to change her clothes before getting ready to go to bed. She cleared off all the plushes on her side of the bed, putting the majority of them around and behind Tartar.

Once she was done arranging all the stuffed animals on her bed, she gently tucked him in, making sure he was comfortable. Not long afterwards, she went into her bed, lying down and snuggling with a unicorn plushie as she drifted off to sleep.

Tartar, meanwhile, stared off into space as he sunk into his plush throne…

_ Maybe this isn’t so bad after all. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “...”


	3. Out In The City

Callie opened her eyes to the faint glimmer of the morning sun. This was about the time she got up most days: just late enough to see the crack of dawn, but too early for a fully-risen sun and rosy skies. She groggily extended her hand, fumbling around before she found the switch to her bedside lamp. She turned it on, and a faint yellow light came over her. Right off the bat, she could tell that she had made quite a mess—she saw the glitter she used last night shimmering on her comforter. However, it was too early for her to pay much attention to it. She sat up and yawned before getting up on her feet.

When Callie got out of bed, a truckload of glitter came with her. If she was covered as badly as she was, then there would be even more of the stuff on Tartar's side. She walked over to the other part of the bed, gently patting Tartar before lifting him up. Sure enough, glitter spilled from his speaker and his slot as she did so, and the stray flecks of it formed a small pile on the bed.

_...I might have to clean this up in a bit. _

She giggled slightly at the thought. It’s been a while since she’s made this big of a mess! Which means that she’d have to tidy up at some point, and she immediately decided that it would be best to tidy up herself first. She changed into her fluffy white robe, hanging it up before stepping into the shower.

Contrary to popular belief, inklings and octolings do not instantly dissolve upon making contact with water. Rather, they only dissolve when there’s a large amount of chemicals in it—for example, the chlorine water pools in Mahi-Mahi Resort and New Albacore Hotel. Regardless, the water stung a bit; Callie could slightly feel her skin burn as she stood under the shower head.

She then started to sing as she picked up a pink bar of soap...the melody of the Calamari Inkantation, passed down through generations and engraved into her head ever since she was little. She hummed quietly at first, but as she went through the melodies she knew by heart, she burst out into full song.

“Ya weni marei mirekyarahire ya juri yu mirekerason…”

Just as the melody traveled out of the shower and into the bedroom, it was immediately heard by a certain AI in Callie’s bed… Tartar faintly hummed as he heard the tune, booting up with the lyrics.

“Bzzrt...ah...I suppose she is already awake.”

He quietly zoned back out as the song went on. There was something that was almost strange about it—the melody was heavenly in nature, almost as if it was freedom incarnate. Freedom from stress, freedom from control, freedom from responsibilities...he supposed that it was about liberation at its core, and he was somewhat inclined to believe it; he could feel his soul lifting up, the long mourning of his Professor coming to an end...and then the song ended, and he was back at square one.

_ So much for that, I guess. _

Meanwhile, Callie put her robe back on as she stepped out of the shower. She resumed her humming as she skipped over to her closet, trying to decide what to wear on this slightly cool and cloudy day. 

_ Am I in the mood for turfing…? Probably. It might be best to get some clothes with gear abilities on them. _

She reached for her pink varsity jacket, which was stitched with Swim Speed Up, and she grabbed some black hi-tops with the same ability on them. Then, she picked up her trademark pink beanie and blue tinted shades, which were made with a hefty portion of Ink Recovery Up. 

Once she was done slipping into all her clothes, she got out through the bathroom door, looking as cheery as ever. 

“Tart, you’re coming with me too!” She exclaimed, getting out a clear backpack and gently putting him inside of it.

“Callie, where are we going?”

“Inkopolis Square! It’s where all the cool kids are hanging out. We could hang out and play some Turf War there!”

“T-Turf War?” Tartar squeaked, sounding frightened. “I don’t think I like the sound of that…”

“Oh, you’ll be fine,” Callie assured. “It might seem scary at first, but it’s actually a lot of fun!”

He gulped as he heard the reply. He might get roped into this no matter what...fighting her on this would probably be pointless.

Callie stated, “Now let’s take the bus to there!”

“Bus? Aren’t you a famous pop star?”

“Yeah, but I gotta keep it on the down-low...I already have enough paparazzi as is,” she sighed.

Tartar remained silent as he heard the last part. 

_ Being a celebrity is harder than it really looks...quite frankly, I feel almost bad for her. Maybe we can relax later in the day...it would take some things off her mind, probably. _

Callie noticed the radio silence as she took her black-and-pink skateboard off the rack. “Are you okay, Tart?”

“Maybe we can relax together sometime,” Tartar offered.

“Yeah...that’d be nice for the both of us!”

***

Callie could see Inkopolis Square in the distance as she looked out of the bus window, moving around her legs in order to get comfortable.

The light of dawn leaked through the glass pane, and it was enough to brighten up her face, but not so glaring that it was obnoxious. 

She watched the city fly by, the landscape shifting from lofty apartments to kitschy, hole in the wall shops. She remembered this part of town very well—she and Marie had her first official gig here at a small bar, way before they became Inkopolis icons. She felt a pang of nostalgia as she caught the bar out of the corner of her eye...sometimes she wished to go back to the past, to relive that experience and to go back to a...simpler time, for a lack of a better word.

She sighed as she turned her gaze back to the seat in front of her.

_ If only there was a way to travel back in time… _

***

Callie stretched as she got off the bus, taking in the energy of the Square. It was crowded with people as per usual, from people sitting and eating something from Crusty Sean’s to people shopping for the freshest gear.

“So...this is it,” Callie stated, and she spun around so that Tartar could have a look too. “What do you think?”

He took the atmosphere in as well, a look of longing somehow emerging on his face. “It is...certainly interesting. It almost reminds me of a place that I have been to once.” 

However, before Callie could reply back, a young Inkling with bright yellow tentacles and a green striped top approached them.

Her eyes glimmer as she sees the phone in Callie’s backpack. “Whoa...that’s so fresh looking! Where did you get it?”

“Um, well...I found it in an abandoned place somewhere! It was just off of Coral Beach, if I’m remembering right.”

“Coral Beach? I know where that place is! I wanna get one of those so I can be as fresh as you…” She responded, her eyes glimmering as she looks closer at Tartar.

He sweated a tad nervously as she was eyeing him. “Why are you staring at me like that…?”

The Inkling gasped. “Wow, you can talk?! That just makes you even cooler!”

As she pointed at him and as the other Inklings began to crowd around, a pair of eyes observed Callie and Tartar in the distance. While Tartar was busy dealing with the squids, Callie began to stare back at them...they stared at her for a long, uncomfortably long time before she began to shiver slightly, her legs kicking up in gear before she ran, ran across the plaza and over into the Turf War lobby.

By the time she bolted in, everything had become a blur for her; she could barely see two feet in front of her, which resulted in her almost bumping into the jellyfish observing the door. They were shocked when Callie came tumbling in, heaving a bit as she tried to catch her breath.

“A-Are you ok? It doesn’t seem like you came here looking for a match.”

“I...I’m fine,” she gasped. “Just let me breathe for a few seconds…”

A breath in...a breath out. The same process, but slower this time. She looked at the jellyfish after a few moments, and they seemed to be observing her gear. 

“Hmm...I admire your efforts, but you cannot participate in your current state. You have two geared shirts on.”

Callie tilted her head. “Wait, I do?”

“Indeed,” they answered. “You have a Bubblegum Varsity Jacket and an Antique Telephone.”

“Wait, the phone is a  _ shirt? _ ”

“Yes.”

“I might have to wear you to a match sometime, Tart!” Callie stated, looking down at Tartar.

He shivered at the thought. “P-Please do not.”

Callie walked out into the square with Tartar in her arms. “Well...if you don’t want to be worn as a shirt, I have another idea!” She mused, eyeing the weapons shop.

“W-Wait—“

Callie repositioned her arms so she could carry Tartar one-handed, and she opened the store’s door, walking into Ammo Knights as if she knew just what she wanted from Sheldon. And as soon as she walked inside, Tartar saw Sheldon...and Sheldon saw Tartar...and it was truly the opposite of love at first sight.

Tartar glared at Sheldon as he caught his eye.  _ I have never seen a midget that small...and he has quite a large weapon collection...odds are that he is probably compensating for something. _

Likewise, Sheldon squinted at the AI.  _ Oh, it’s that machine again...I was hoping to make him into an amazing weapon, but frankly, I don’t think he has the potential. _

Tartar prepared for some more unfortunate eye contact as Callie plopped him down on Sheldon’s messy, oil-covered desk. When Sheldon finally stopped fixating on the telephone, he looked up, giving a quick wave to her.

“Oh, hello there, Cal! What kind of weapon are you looking for today?”

She responded, “I’m not looking for any weapons! I was actually curious if you could turn Tart here into an ink tank…”

Tartar visibly flinched upon hearing those words. "Y-You want to use me as your _ what _ ?!" He shouted, shaking a little.

"As my ink tank, silly! I think you'd look pretty cute as one," Callie replied.

"Callie, I know you have good intentions...but I do not think that having your ink in my body is going to work out."

“It never hurts to be open-minded!”

“I do not know about that,” Tartar said. “Besides, I’d rather not make out with a minion for hours on end,” he then huffed, eyeing Sheldon.

Sheldon didn’t even know what a minion was, but he could clearly tell that this was directed at him. “Oh, please. You aren’t even  _ sexy. _ ”

“You must be vision-impared, as I have a similar aesthetic to this sniper rifle,” he retorted as he gestured over to a E-Liter 4K.

“First of all, that weapon is called a Charger. Secondly, you have the sex appeal of a Splattershot Jr.”

Callie then put her hand in between the two, getting overwhelmed from the arguing. “Now, guys...I don’t want you fighting! I might have to watch you closely so that you won’t mess each other up…”

Sheldon pouted a bit at her interjection. “Well, if you say so. I’ll gladly make him into an ink tank if you wish, Cal!”

Callie beamed, “Yes! Now I can take him to turf with me…”

Tartar gulped as he stared the two of them down. Hopefully they wouldn’t get too deep into his systems...

***

While it took several hours to get the process done, Sheldon managed to finish working on Tartar before the store closed for the day. He shot a dirty look at Callie as she walked in with some sunglasses and a boa, wondering why the hell she’d make him do this.

She seemed confused at Tartar’s attitude. “What’s wrong, Tart?”

“Why did you make me do this?”

Callie felt a pang of guilt as she heard Tartar’s tone. “Well...I was hoping you could come Turf with me. I know you must’ve been alone in those ruins, so I thought you’d like to have some fun…”

A bit of ooze welled up at Tartar’s eyes, and he responded, “I never even considered that you would do such a thing...thank you, despite the fact that Sheldon going into my chassis was much unappreciated.”

“S-Sorry about that! Hopefully this will make up for it a little,” Callie mumbled, picking up a pair of blue Tinted Shades and putting them on Tartar. “There! Now you look even fresher.”

Tartar quivered a bit as the sunglasses were put on him. He really did like them a lot, for two reasons: because the color was pretty, and...it seemed oddly familiar, almost like they were once owned by—

_ Professor… _

Tartar longingly gazed out of the shop’s window as Callie opened the backpack, arranging the sparkly pink boa so that it covered the bottom of it. She let Tartar sit for a few moments before gently lifting Tartar and putting him in there. 

She asked, “Is it comfier with the padding in there?”

“...Yes, it is. Thank you.”

Callie grinned widely as she zipped the backpack up, carrying it on her shoulders as she skipped out of the store. It was nearing sunset by now, and she’d usually be ready to pack up by now. However, something from the depths of the sea was calling out to her, almost as if was telling her to go to that subway over there...

"Hey...before we go home, there's one more place I'd like to check out," Callie stated.

"Oh?"

"The subway-looking area right next to that small cafe. It's weird because I've never been interested before but...it's almost as if this place is calling me."

Tartar visibly tensed up upon hearing Callie's words. 

_ Is she going to find out...? _

He figured that he would have to tell her this at some point, but he honestly wasn't quite ready for it yet. Cod, the mere thought of it was enough to make him queasy.

“...What's wrong, Tart?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “...Who are you?”


	4. Into The Metro

“...”

Tartar jolted as he was snapped back to reality, still in shock from the question that Callie asked. "Oh, nothing."

There was only silence between the two, not because there wasn’t anything to say, but...there were things that, at least in their eyes, shouldn’t be said. Callie’s brain was slightly overwhelmed, thinking about the potential grievances Tartar could be having...and meanwhile, Tartar had the weight of his world on his shoulders, his reputation balancing on a fine wire with nothing but ruin beneath it.

A few more moments passed, and she just squinted at him in response...she seemed unconvinced, but she figured that it was best to back off for now.

He took her reply as a bad thing, mostly...at the very least, it had an air of uncertainty to it. He could feel his machinery going faster inside of him, his mind filled and burdened with the sheer amount of worrisome scenarios that could arise from now on.

Callie, meanwhile, took a deep breath as she began to step towards the subway entrance. The darkness inside was intimidating yet compelling...it left her just curious enough to see what was underneath Inkopolis.

_ One, two, three, four… _

She counted each graffiti-covered stair as she stepped on them, unfazed by the seemingly endless staircase. As the two made the descent, Callie could hear the sound of various pipes steaming and banging, almost as if they were alive, and the graffiti grew more and more sporadic as even the bravest Inkling souls were too scared to go in deep. What motivated her to come here, then? Was it just because she felt like she could? No, there had to be more to it...perhaps she was meant to find something she didn’t know about her telephone friend. Was this his former home? Realistically, it couldn’t be a possibility...but Callie wasn’t the most realistic-minded gal either.

After what seemed like an eternity, Callie made it to the bottom, where she was greeted by a large steel door with several stickers on it; some of them were posters with a strange eye symbol in the center, while some of them appeared to be yellow smiley faces with tiny fangs. She looked up at the door and then down to her feet, and she carefully counted her steps…

_ One, two, three, fo-- _

BAM!

Her thoughts screeched to a halt once she heard the door shut behind her. She immediately panicked, banging furiously as a few tears began to well up in her eyes.

“L-Let me out!”

Callie tried banging on it for a minute more, then she stopped, realizing that was going to get her nowhere. Letting out a heavy sigh, she takes her backpack off of her, laying it on a nearby bench. She then sat next to it, burying her face into her hands.

Tartar decided to speak up once he noticed Callie’s tears. “Callie...are you alright?”

“I-I just don’t know how we’re going to get out of here…”

Tartar observed his surroundings, recognizing them in an instant. “Do not worry. I know the way out of here...I just need to get the key to unlock the door.”

“You knew what this place was?” Callie replied. “Then why didn’t you tell me not to come down here?”

“Well...you seemed so intent on it that I did not want to bother you.”

Tartar mulled on his actions a bit.

_ Would it have been a better idea to keep this place a secret? Yes. Would I give in to anything that Callie particularly desired? ...Also yes, for the most part. _

Meanwhile, the tears came to a stop on Callie’s end, and she took a moment to collect herself before asking Tartar a quick question. “So...you live here?”

“This was the place I lived at before you found me at the ruins, yes,” he responded.

“...How did you  _ get  _ there, though?”

Tartar looked around nervously before finally giving an answer. “It’s a...long story.”

“Well, maybe you could tell it to me later tonight!”

“Y-Yeah, that’d be fun.”

Callie then gently lifts the backpack up and puts it on her front side so Tartar can see what’s ahead of him.

“Show me the way, Tart!”

***

After an hour or two of walking, Callie’s eyes had lost their shine, and she had taken to slouching on her backpack because she was exhausted...she let out a huge sigh as she stretched her body.

“Tartarrr…” she whined. “You said it was somewhere around here…”

“Well, it isn’t too far now! Just a little more,” he replied.

“You’ve said that for like...the past thirty minutes. Honestly, I don’t think you have any clue about where we’re going either…”

“This time is going to be the last,” he promised, before trying to turn himself to the left. “In fact...this right here is the door I was looking for!”

Tartar gently motions to the door, which appeared to have two almond-shaped eyes near the top of it...these eye shapes rarely appeared in cephalopods, but they seem to be fairly common in—

_ Humans… _

The thought immediately popped into Callie’s mind once she saw the stickers on the door’s stainless steel. Tartar appeared not only to have vast knowledge beyond Callie’s grasp, but also a thorough understanding of one of cephalopodkind’s greatest mysteries: humanity. She was about to ask something, but she lost her train of thought when Tartar called her name.

“Callie! You have to unlock the door using my code...and I would enter it myself, but alas, I do not have hands at the moment.”

“What is it?”

“2-4-0-5.”

She softly traced her fingers over the neon blue-lit number pads before typing them in.

_ Two...four...zero...five. _

She gently rehearsed the numbers in her head, a faint ding accompanying each input as she punched the numbers in. Once she was done, she was greeted by a melodic electronic voice—or at least, she thought it was greeting her before saying Tartar’s name out loud.

“Welcome back, Tartar Kamabo. It has been a while since you have been here.”

“Please, Angel...there is no need for formalities with me,” Tartar replied, looking away from the door sheepishly.

Angel didn’t utter a single word in response.

“Who are they?” Callie murmured, almost worriedly.

“They are just...a friend of mine.”

Tartar let out a single awkward laugh, and the room was soon filled with silence...for a minute, at least, before the door in front of them opened up with a slightly rusty squeak. Without a word, and with a moment of hesitation, she stepped inside with Tartar in her arms.

A bright teal glow illuminated the two as they started to walk down a seemingly endless hallway, with a series of steel blue doors on the left, and a balcony overlooking a forested area on the right. Callie immediately took notice of the right side, putting Tartar on her back before grabbing ahold of the white balcony fence and looking down. The sight below amazed her: flourishing fauna growing on grass and climbing up the walls, vines extending from the stone pavement to the high ceiling above them, and many, many bushes filled with colorful flowers...this was probably the most plants she had ever seen at once, many more than she even remembered seeing in the Kelp Dome.

“Wow…are these plants all yours, Tartar?” Callie asked.

Tartar chirped, “Oh, yes! Gardening is a big hobby of mine.”

Callie smiled as she continued to observe the fauna beneath her. “I can tell you’ve spent a lot of time on it! Do you have a greenhouse that you keep your plants in?”

“Of course! I have several of them, in fact.”

“Can you show me?” Callie pleaded, her eyes shining in wonder.

“Absolutely...though, there is something I would like to show you first.”

“Oh?”

He gestured to a sticker-covered door at the end of the hall. “That place over there is my room.”

“Your...room? Do you sleep in there and stuff?”

“Yes,” Tartar replied. “Well, I mean, I used to, before you took me in.”

Callie paused for a second before moving forward, not stopping until she was at that door. When she got up to it, she spent a few moments taking in all the little details—cute, chibi-styled human-era mascots, stickers with holographic material on them, soup labels...she could have spent hours looking at everything, but she didn’t want to keep Tartar waiting.

When Callie finally walked inside, she was taken aback by the sheer chaos of his room. While everything was arranged neatly, there was so much stuff crammed into every corner of it that it kind of looked like a mess regardless. There were countless books, game consoles, and CDs to be found, and there were shelves after shelves and drawers after drawers filled with them, as well as other objects. In contrast to the hallway before it, the white polka-dotted wallpaper on the walls was ancient and somewhat peeled off, and the floor was yellow and in the style of those 1970’s shag carpets...not that she would know the latter part.

Tartar waited several moments for Callie to take everything in before speaking up. “So, what do you think?”

Callie put her hand to her chin as if in thought. “Well...it’s messy in the good way, if that makes sense? Like...it’s all crammed with stuff--hell, it’s even messier than my apartment, but...it’s kinda relaxing in a weird way.”

“So, you feel the same way, hm?” Tartar remarked, his inner components slowing down somewhat. “A lot of the things are that are here used to belong to my Professor…”

“Your professor? I know you’ve mentioned him once before…”

“Yes...I tend to bring him up quite a bit,” he sighed, looking wistfully into the distance.

“...Who  _ was _ he, exactly?”

Tartar paused, silence filling up the room for a fair while before he finally spoke up again. “Basically, he was my creator. He was a human, and he lived...and died...in that same era.”

She patted his casing. “What happened…?”

“The humans were in a war, and I suppose he and his facility just wanted to end it all...so they destroyed the world, and I have not seen any of them since.”

Callie’s heart felt a pang of guilt for the AI. “I mean...he still has to be alive somewhere, right?”

“You know...twelve thousand years ago I would have believed you, but twelve thousand years later...I am honestly not for certain. Humans usually only live up to a hundred years, and I have lived for many human life cycles now.”

“Wow! Er, I feel sorry for you, but...it’s honestly fascinating to see actual, living proof of a human-era object.”

Tartar sighed in frustration, looking Callie in the eye. “Well, if I had to say anything about it, I would frankly rather not be living right now. However, my Professor, as well as Mother Nature herself, have refused to let me go...so now I’m here, in the metro and in my room with you.”

“...”

“Do you know how painful and soul-sucking it is to live that long?”

Callie felt another pang of guilt that touched even the deepest levels of her consciousness. “I...honestly don’t. I always thought that immortality would’ve been a cool power, but...I guess there’s many things I don’t know about this world yet, and age is one of them.”

“You may not know now, but you will see what I mean when you get older.”

Callie silently heeded this advice, and the room went quiet for several moments more before Tartar spoke up. “Anyways, it is about to be bedtime. Professor said it was always a bad idea to do much theorizing before you sleep for the night.”

“I get you,” she replied, her body relaxing a bit as she lifted up the warm fuzzy blankets before going under the soft covers.

“Rest well, okay? I do not want you rummaging around here. Besides, I need to do some work anyways, and I would rather not be bothered.”

“Alrighty!” Callie chirped as she watched Tartar...teleport…? Who knows how all that worked…

However, the moment he left, her body tensed up again, thoughts racing through her mind. After Callie heard Tartar talking about the professor earlier, a terrifying thought began to emerge in her mind...what if her family ended up dying horribly like the professor did? Was she supposed to be fine with shutting them off until then? No...she knew that she was going to have to settle this dispute before such a thing happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Where is this...?"


End file.
